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If you are dating someone seriously, how peaceful do you feel when you think about marrying that person?

Committing your heart to someone is a huge decision.

Feel free to give us a call here at the Focus on the Family Counseling department. Our licensed counselors or chaplains would love to speak with you and, if you would like, can direct you toward local Christian counselors.

The day I married Ashley, I must have been asked more than 50 times whether I was nervous.

Let's say you've asked the right questions and you've been careful about the people you date. Words and phrases like "smothered" and "jealous" come to mind. Do both of you clearly understand why sex outside of marriage is so destructive? If your friends or family complain that they don't see you anymore, your relationship has gotten way too exclusive. Do your best to begin each date knowing how you're going to spend your time together. Do we have a good understanding of what forgiveness means? Holding grudges because you've been wronged kills a relationship.

In time, you'll probably find yourself liking one person a lot. If you find yourself moving in this direction, or if you are already in a serious relationship, here are other questions to think through and to talk about together: 1. A relationship can't survive without honesty and openness. If you have to be somebody you're not, or if either of you feels you must put up a front, then you're in the wrong relationship. If one of you can't move without the other one knowing it, then possessiveness is a big problem. If you break up tomorrow, would you end the relationship with no regrets about your physical involvement? On the other hand, no one should say "forgive me" when they really mean "accept my faults and don't expect me to change." If you want to regain trust, if you want to keep the relationship healthy, then changes must be made.

If you choose poorly, you could suffer years of heartache or wind up abused or divorced.

The following questions are not intended for short answers such as a mere “yes”, but are a means to meaningful discussion between a man and a woman who have vowed to love each other “until death do us part.” Take your time to talk them over. You may answer these questions in any order you wish, or all at one time. Nothing much has happened to improve marriages without truthfulness.

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What I've talked about here relates to red flags, some clear, some more obscure, which If you're still concerned about your relationship, talk to someone. Since divorce does not eliminate mutually shared debts, how will you remove yourself from these joint debts? If both are breadwinners, how will we care for the children (day care, school, after school, etc.)? Are we comfortable with one checking account or will we have “yours,” “mine,” and “ours”? SEE ALSO: Christian Family: Good News for Blended Families 15. The book presents an outstanding overview of wise financial practices based on God’s purposes for money. How should we use what we receive in child support and alimony? Howard also presents a list of questions couples should discuss before they marry. What are your financial obligations to your ex-spouse (child support, alimony, other)? How likely are child support payments to increase or decrease in the future? Are you responsible for any additional expenses, such as education, for them? What do we do when we don’t receive scheduled child support?

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